review and correct these two works

Question description

Hi, this is the initial question for the paper I wrote and submitted which the instructor rejected :

Quantitative Annotated Bibliography

In this week’s discussion question you were asked to consider a potential problem (appropriate to your role option) that you would like to investigate through nursing research. For this assignment you will review current research from South’s Online Library and provide a critical evaluation on that research through an annotated bibliography. An annotated bibliography is a brief summary and analysis of the journal article reviewed. For more information on annotated bibliographies please visit Purdue’s OWL: Purdue Online Writing Lab

A total of two annotated bibliographies are to be submitted (not to exceed one page each). The articles must come from nursing scholarly literature and may not be older than 5 years since publication. Please note that the articles must be research based and reflect a quantitative methodology (review our reading assignments). Web pages, magazines, textbooks, and other books are not acceptable.

Each annotation must address the following critical elements:

  • Explanation of the main purpose and scope of the cited work
  • Brief description of the research conducted
  • Value and significance of the work (e.g., study’s findings, scope of the research project) as a contribution to the subject under consideration
  • Possible shortcomings or bias in the work
  • Conclusions or observations reached by the author
  • Summary as to why this research lends evidence to support the potential problem identified specific to your role

Then the instructor replied this :


Your paper is not acceptable. Review the announcement about the annotated bibliographies. You need to use headings to organize your paper.

Now below is the instruction for the annotated bibliography:

Instructions for Annotated Bibliographies
Hello Class

For the annotated bibliographies, you need to use each “critical element” as a heading to organize your paper.
Also, note in the instructions that each annotated bibliography can only be one page.

Below please find headings you should use with a brief explanation about the content that should go with each heading (critical element).

The purpose of asking you to use the critical elements as headings is to ensure you don’t miss any part of the annotated bibliography..

Each heading below is in bold print. Each heading should be centered on your page.

The content under each heading (critical element) does not have to be long. Be succinct. And, avoid words like “this, that, these those, in order to). If you don’t need the word in the sentence, don’t use it.

Remember, this week you are to search for quantitative studies.

Please let me know if you have questions.

Dr Diana

Reference citation at the top of the page in APA format

Main Purpose and Scope

Briefly state the problem and purpose of the study (in a sentence)

Description of Research

Briefly tell me (in a couple sentences) how the research was conducted. Was it a survey? Was it data mining? How did the researchers gather the information? How many participants. Where was it conducted.

Value and Significance

How is this research significant to the problem? (in a sentence or two)

Shortcomings or Bias

Did you note any bias?

Conclusions and Summary

What was the outcome of the study? (In a sentence or two)

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